George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Monday, 12 July 2004

Dear Diary,

Today I was givin' a speech in Illinois and there was a terrorist attack!!! I kid you not, I was attacked. Elmo came and... tickled me. It was horrible. All the world heard my girly laugh. I went home and cried and choked on pretzels. The thing that makes me the saddester is that Elmo tickles better than Laura. Boo Hoo.

P.S.-

I love Texas! Got Texy?

P.S. to the S.-

I made a funny joke. Got Texy? Get it? Like Got miLk? 'cept i donn got milk, ah got Texy.