David Cameron - My Fake Diary

Friday, 12 March 2010

Dear Diary

Another bad hair day. I have to grab some freebies off a big hairdresser and get my unruly mop fixed. It always looks like a coos lick. have to get trendy, go for the young voters. Not happy, the paps call me "Hairbrush Dave". I'll show them they'll not be invited when errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr if I get to be PM.

Gordon is a moron still creeping up in the polls. Must get some more crap on him and get my pals and buddies in the press to savage him.

That wife of mine might have voted Labour before, bastard, all I needed. Not a good day for trashy tabloids blasting me about that.

Tried to get Becks at Man U for free publicity but when we called for freebie tickets, Ferguson said, Tory plonker, piss off.

Off to Oxford Street to bum a free haircut.