Cherie Blair - My Fake Diary

Monday, 25 August 2008

9.00 Well, another day, another dollar, or should I say, another day another several hundred thousand dollars. Have a speaking engagement at the Society of Naval Gazers today, where I will not only be making some great observances, but collecting a fat cheque for my efforts.

9.30 While eating breakfast, my son phones to ask how many properties we own. Told him I had lost count. He also asked what a trans-sexual was, and I told him to ask his Uncle because she'll know.

10.00 Time to have my hair done.

11.00 Into the post office - our local one is still open - to post a letter. Have to be careful because last time I stood beside the post box chatting with the postmistress, a customer tried to put a parcel in my mouth by accident.

12.00 Have found out from 'Tone' that it appears we have 7 houses. Gosh

1.00 Have to quickly dash into chambers to defend some chap who didn't pay his train fare. He was taken to court. This is an area of my expertise, so for three hours at only £600 an hour, I was able to get him off his £42 fine.

3.00 Putting the final touch to my effusive and motivational speech for the Naval Gazers this evening. I am really looking forward to it, especially the £100,000 cheque.

5.00 Dad dropped in to watch some old re-runs of "Till Death Us Do Part" on the National Geographic Channel, or whatever. Very entertaining. I saw he was mouthing the words.

6.00 Taxi organised to head off to the dinner. Will be great, especially the £100,000 cheque.

11.30 Back home from my dinner where I entertained everyone about how exciting is is to get a £100,000 cheque. They did receive value for money by having me as their key note speaker. Off to bed now.

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