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The "World's Greatest Vagina"... up for Grabs

Funny story: The "World's Greatest Vagina"... up for Grabs

At an auction in Sotheby's London, a photo of what experts describe as "the world's greatest vagina" was unveiled. Dubbed "The Source" media coverage at the auction was global. However, owner of the vagina was not named and speculation is rife; but i...

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Florida college promises No More Genital Probes

Funny story: Florida college promises No More Genital Probes

Orlando, Florida - Some dirty old men at an Orlando college have been slapped with a multi-million dollar lawsuit for running a diagnostic sonography program on students' vaginas. Women studying at the Orlando Vulva Academy had been told their A-...

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Pope Insists Priests Refrain from Cunnilingus

Funny story: Pope Insists Priests Refrain from Cunnilingus

The Pope sent an IM to his top American Priests today telling them to desist immeddiately from any sex that would put them at risk from HPV Virus He said: "in recent years scientists have documented a steep rise in throat cancers caused by a strai...

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Actress Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Her Lady Parts Unusual Spa Treatment

Funny story: Actress Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Her Lady Parts Unusual Spa Treatment

HOLLYWEIRD, CA - Always wanting to be on the cutting edge of society, actress Gwyneth Paltrow has taken "getting your carpet steam cleaned" to a new level. The 42 year-old actress now says she goes to a Hollywood spa and receives steam treatments...

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Man uses GPS, still can't find girlfriend's clitoris

Some use their fingers. Some try with their tongues. Some even research it online. However, some men still struggle to find their girlfriend's clitoris. Although one Michigan-man recently took his clit-reconnaissance efforts to a-whole-other...

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Giant Halloween 'gay vagina' dirigible freaks out Islamic State insurgents

Funny story: Giant Halloween 'gay vagina' dirigible freaks out Islamic State insurgents

Fertile Crescent, Syria - A 500ft Hindenberg-like inflatable drone shaped like the Queen of Halloween's punani has crossed into Islamic State airspace close to rebel-held territory of Mount Skrotomb. Insurgents immediately stopped bobbing for app...

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US student rescued from giant German vagina sculpture tested for STDs

Tübingen, Germany - (Ass Mess): A 100ft, 32-ton red Veronese marble sculpture of a vagina positioned outside Tübingen University Institute for Microbiology and Virology is being tested for sexually transmitted diseases this week following an inciden...

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Doesn't that itch?

Funny story: Doesn't that itch?

Vaginas. They have really stood the test of time and remain as popular today as they ever were. Possibly even more so and it's hardly surprising. Us guys don't have them, and the girls that do don't always want us to see them. This only adds to our fascination, and then we read ladies magazines and discover there are loads of different ways girls can embellish their vaginas! It's no wonder we're a...

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Jeb Bush Derides GOP Vagina Envy, Says He's Satisfied With What He Has In His Pants

Jeb Bush believes he's the only male Republican contender for president who doesn't have vagina envy, and admits he's not very well-versed on the female anatomy, making him a more oafishly appealing candidate to women. "Don't have one, don't want...

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'Alien Autopsy' movie maker the secret mastermind behind lab-grown ET vaginas?

Funny story: 'Alien Autopsy' movie maker the secret mastermind behind lab-grown ET vaginas?

Roswell, Nevada - A film producer famous for his 'Alien Autopsy' documentary has been outed as the maverick genius behind a bio-engineering project to replace old, worn out and obsolete vaginas among female extraterrestrials. Ray Santilli, whose...

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Punctuation Marks Sue Emoticons Over Patent Infringement

Funny story: Punctuation Marks Sue Emoticons Over Patent Infringement

Washington D.C. (High Times) - A Federal lawsuit has been filed by Punctuation Marks against Emoticons (et al.) for patent infringement and defamation. Punctuation Marks seek $6.8 trillion in damages. The filed case claims that Emoticons freely...

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A Retired School Teacher In Berlin Reveals That She Has 3 Vaginas

Funny story: A Retired School Teacher In Berlin Reveals That She Has 3 Vaginas

BERLIN - Greta Giselle Vinheimer taught high school geography in the Berlin Independent School District for 37 years before she retired last month. Mrs. Vinheimer was given a fantastic retirement party which included the keys to a brand new 2014 M...

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Monty Python Nix Plan For Qatar Stadium Show As It Looks Too Much Like A Vagina

Funny story: Monty Python Nix Plan For Qatar Stadium Show As It Looks Too Much Like A Vagina

LONDON, UK - "Monty Python will not be doing a show in a building that looks like a vagina," stated producer, Eric Idle. It is thought that most of the troop had been warm to the idea, with the exception of John Cleese who is coming off his third div...

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Vehicle accessories

For women, accessories relate to dress and include such items as bows, tiaras, necklaces, bracelets, pins, rings, anklets, purses, shoes, and men with thick wallets. For men, accessories relate to vehicles, and include hubcaps, rims, wheels, racing stripes, cabin-mounted rifle racks, decals, and truck balls. Although men accessorize both cars and trucks, the latter are often decorated with raci...

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Celebrity misquotes

Most celebrities, most of the time, have nothing important or interesting to say, but, because they are famous (and rich), their every word is reported to the world. Unfortunately, they are usually misquoted, because their words are taken out of context, or so they say, and, when they are not being misquoted, they are misspeaking. No matter what they do or say, they claim that they are seldom, if...

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Erotic art

Erotic art is an excuse, in the form of sketches, paintings, sculptures, and other media, to show naked people, many of whom are depicted as engaging in "erotic" (a codeword for sexual) activities. Although some people try to distinguish between erotic art and pornography, no argument for such a distinction has ever been generally accepted, and most people agree that one person's erotic art is ano...

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Rupert Giles

Rupert Giles studied at Oxford University, but dropped out before earning a history degree to become a voyeur, or "watcher," as his father and grandmother Edna had been before him. Rather than taking his wayward son to task for wasting what could have been a superb education at one of the world's leading universities, Giles' father approved of his decision, affirming it as a fulfillment of his "de...

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Playboy Playmates

In The Secret of Wealth and Happiness, Hu Humpher, under the pen name Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy magazine, explains what led to his success: the Playboy Playmate. For anyone who may be visiting from another planet, a Playboy Playmate is a full-color, glossy, airbrushed photograph of a nude woman with a staple through at least one portion (and usually two) of her anatomy. She is also someti...

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