Washington, D.C. - At a press conference today, President Bush was asked how he was able to persuade Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki to withdraw his previous endorsement of a timetable for withdrawal of American troops. The President was blunt.
Selma, AL - Presidential candidate John McCain showed up at a press conference in Selma wearing a white pillowcase over his head with eye holes cut out. He apologized to the audience, telling them that his skin is highly sensitive to sunlight and he...
Washington, D.C. - During a teleconference today, Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann said that to help cut gas prices, congress should open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling, and allow for the expansion of oil exploration in o...
Washington, D.C. - There was frenzied speculation inside the Beltway yesterday after it was revealed that President Bush had ordered all of the White House locks changed. A spokesperson for the White House said that this was nothing more than a regul...
Washington, D.C. - Embattled former Bush advisor Karl Rove held an impromptu teleconference this morning form his new office somewhere in northern Paraguay. Sweating profusely, Mr. Rove appeared to be delivering his announcement from inside a small m...
Cheyenne, WY - Vice President Cheney shot himself in the face today while hunting pheasant southeast of Cheyenne. The injury is not life threatening, doctors say, but will result in facial scaring and the need to wear an eye-patch, which, according t...
Washington, D.C. - Surprising new poll numbers show George Bush has a 95% approval rating, up some seventy points from previous polls. These numbers fly in the face of numerous nationally recognized polls that have placed Mr. Bush at historically low...
Washington, D.C. - Backing off their insistence that former Bush advisor Karl Rove appear before congress and testify under oath, a spokesperson for Representative John Conyers said today that congressional Democrats have decided to change their tact...
Memphis, TN - In a tear-filled admission during a town hall meeting in Memphis yesterday, Republican presidential candidate John McCain confessed that he was the father of the popular television icon the Pillsbury Doughboy.
New York City - During an interview today with FOX News anchor Connie Jobs, McCain advisor Burt Simpleton admitted that McCain suffered from incontinence and had been embarrassed on more than one occasion while campaigning. Simpleton claimed that thi...
Washington D.C. - First Lady Laura Bush announced today that she has given up tap dancing as her way of honoring our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Washington D.C. - Following hot on the heels of former Bush press secretary Scott McClellan's book, "What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception," a new memoir has surfaced written by General X,...
Washington, D.C. - In a move that has sent shockwaves around the globe, President George Bush told the media that he has given up golfing in tribute to the brave men and women fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. The astonishing selflessness of the Pres...
Washington, D.C. - Doctors at Bethesda Naval Hospital have confirmed that Vice President Dick Cheney was recently admitted for 'acute signs of life' associated with the accidental activation of his pacemaker.
Washington, D.C. - Under a Freedom of Information Act request, the advocacy group "Why Must We Be Governed By Idiots?" received the following 2007 memo relating to appropriate behavior in the presence of President Bush, and immediately released the document to the press.
Presidential hopeful John McCain seemed once again confused about who the enemy is in Iraq. At a speech before the National Association of Really Old People (NAROP) in Cleveland, McCain made the claim that the surge had put the Shriners on the run.
Washington, D.C. - At a news conference today, President Bush reiterated his determination to continue the surge despite escalating violence in Iraq.
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