Top US Headlines
White House Uncertain of which Line Crossed, Obama Possibly Colorblind
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama, in an impromptu press conference in August of 2012, vowed that the United States would intervene to end Syria's then eighteen-month massacre should President Bashar Al-Assad use chemical weapons, saying, "We...
Ruling Authority to 'let Texas go'
A spokesperson for the R.A. announced its decision yesterday, saying: "Texas is too big, too different, and just too damn difficult to remain in the union... and they never wanted to be a part of the United States, anyway."
One of the provisions...
Barack Obama Edges Out Kim Jong-Un For 'Best Living Narcissist' At 2013 Billboard Music Awards
HOLLYWOOD, CA - It was nearly termed another developing scandal for the Obama Administration, but, before the night was over, audiences saw the 44th President of the United States aptly named 'Best Narcissist' for the 2013 Billboard Music Awards.
O.J. Simpson To Be Released From Prison
LAS VEGAS - Many people were shocked to learn that O.J. Simpson, who was sentenced to serve 33 years in prison, could be released by Labor Day.
A spokesperson for Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center stated that Simpson, who has ballooned up to 3...
Star Trek's omnipotent being 'Q' is running secret world government Obama tells Cameron
The Gambling Gynecologist and The Sound of Money
Self Plagiarist Sues Himself
Just how close is Barack Obama to the KGB?
WTF 'Landowner who spent $500,000 restoring dead Norfolk broad faces prosecution' as story puzzles Yanks?
NYC, New York - "Says right here some guy's going to jail maybe for spending half a million on a dead Norfolk broad," a puzzled Upper East Side taxicab driver said today, "some kinda necrophilia stunt, eh, like you Brits are SO kinky?"
The fast-br...
Retired Norfolk oil exec Reg Patton Boggs drawn into Ecuador Amazonbotch pollution saga
New York - A New York judge presiding over a forthcoming Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act [RICO] lawsuit brought by super major Chevron against supporters of an Ecuadorean $19billion embezzlement fraud is to rule whether a retired U...
Fart Farm advocate accused of fudging data---threatens Fart Wars
The Raleigh News & Observer clamed in a front page editorial this morning that Senator T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg had "fudged the data" in claiming that his proposed Fart Farms could solve the state's energy problems. "This is not the first time...
Man In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat
The issue of gay marriage is a very hot topic right now with two, and only two, sides to the argument. One side says homosexuals should be allowed to marry, while the other side says it's repulsive and will lead to people marrying animals just becaus...
Iron Manifold
SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that theBlack Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.
Benghazi - Space Aliens Admit Dropping Obama Brain
WASHINGTON, DC - On the afternoon of September 11, 2012, the White House began pre-party warmups, unaware of an impending attack in Benghazi, Libya. Young staffers, election strategists, and political aides walked through the halls, pointing at each...
Obama Administration to Establish New Department of Truth
In view of the recent scandals and persistent questions from the press and Republicans demanding that the White House explain variations in its responses on a host of so-called scandals - from Benghazi to the wiretapping of Associated Press reporters...
Ruling Authority announces first congressional draft
In its first pick in the new congressional draft, the Ruling Authority selected Arnold Sayers of New Ipswitch, Maine. The thirty-eight year old plumber was dragged kicking and screaming from his home to replace Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, also...
President Obama Says That Mexico Has Asked To Borrow $3 Million So They Can Continue With Their Moon Exploration Program
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama announced that he had received a text message from Mexico's President Nacho Winslow asking to borrow $3 million.
President Winslow stated that his country needs the funds in order to continue with their moon shot...
Taboo Tastes of a Tubby Toddler
Champaign, Illinois: America's corn-feed children not so content with what's on the menu. Local boy, Timothy Withers, son of Shirley and Michael Withers, weighs a very robust sum of 123 pounds. The boy stands at 2.3 feet tall, and has an appetite of...
Attorney General Holder orders America to turn itself in
Washington, DC -- The Obama Administration's top lawman has officially arrested the entire population of the United States.
In an unprecedented Justice Department directive, Attorney General Eric Holder outlined a plan to imprison every American...
EStalker matches victims with stalkers
The internet has a new website dedicated to bringing compatible people together. It is called EStalker and, like dating sites which match people who would probably not otherwise meet based on commonalities, EStalker uses a state of the art algorithm...
Rescuer Ramsey Damned Lucky He Didn't Get His Ass Thrown In Prison In Cleveland Kidnapping
It fortunately went so miraculously well.
A girl held hostage for ten years breaks free of her bonds and manages to get to the door of her captors house.
She yells through the mail slot that she needs help and identifies herself.
A black neighb...
Latest Spoof US Headlines
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Ray 'Alien Autopsy' Santilli commissioned to paint official Obama portrait
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Obama revising dictionary
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The Unbelievable Mississippi Catfish
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North Korea's Kim Jong Un To Visit Sweden
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Obama forced to use umbrella
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Utah Says Anyone Caught Exhibiting A Tramp Stamp Will Be Fined
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Ann Coulter: Sarah "Snowballs" Palin Needs To Keep Her Boring Butt Up In Alaska
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Proposed new nation for terrorist organization
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Vick accused of cheating in race with McCoy
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Cleaver craze gives under-pressure Obama the perfect distraction
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New Mexico Bans Piñatas
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