Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 16 August 2009

image for Tottingham Trounce Touchy Scousers
We're Shit, And We Know We Are!

A disastrous weekend for Murkydive footy clubs, Loonypool and Neverwon, who both found themselves on the wrong end of results on the opening weekend of the footy season.

First, Neverwon got tanked 6-1 by a load of arses at Badison Park, and now today, Loonypool get stuffed 2-1 by soft southern Tottingham at Light Fart Lane.

In a bad tempered display, Loonypool had fat, round, worth about a pound Assistant Manager or somesuch, Sammy Lee sent off by the ref even though he wasn't playing!

For being a gobshite!

With the score at 1-1 Bassong scored the winner for Tottingham, whilst Scouse icon, Fernando 'Abba' Torres was so busy showing off his new hairstyle that he never really got involved in the game.

Happy Harry Rednapp said after the game on Sly TV that Loonypool were so bad it was unbelievable.

Barroom brawler Swedehead Gerrard failed to make any impact whatsoever on the match.

Supporters of both Loonypool and Neverwon will tomorrow shed tears and lay flowers at Lime Street Station in a typical display of Scouse unity and self pity.

Messrs Wenger and Rednapp were last spotted being mopped up by club physios after pissing their pants laughing.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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