Written by Aakash
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Saturday, 8 December 2012

image for Living life on the edge - A guide for the ultimate thrillseeker

Everyone loves a bit of danger in their lives. What is better than having a constant feeling of death lurking around you? It is what brings true excitement to one's life. Without it, you just live a very mundane lifestyle.

What brings comfort into everyone's lives is the fact that there are so many ways to die or watch others die. You can never get bored. Nobody watches a person die and yawns. It is the greatest entertainment of our times.

Mark Williams, 52-year-old businessman, says, "Dying is the latest form of art. Like dancing and singing, dying and killing are talents which can be mastered by anyone. There is just so much variety to experiment with."

Sometimes death takes you by surprise, just like a flash mob. In such times, you just cannot help but smile. Adventurist and fellow drug abuser, John Blake, has been practicing the use (and misuse) of knives for 2-years now. He wishes to master the use of these and use his slashing skills on others. He is going to paint the town red, literally.

Eugene Brooks, local mortician and our expert in this field advises people to start taking such extreme activities seriously. People who love the comfort of their homes eventually die from old age. It is the most boring way to die. A heart attack or a fatal disease comes nowhere close to the gut-puncturing and skull-smashing death that comes from true violence.

We hope you take your life less seriously.
Good Luck.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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