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Sexipedia's Sexual Analysis of South Carolina GOP Race
Sexipedia, the Internet Sexual Proclivity site, has provided a unique analysis of yesterday's South Carolina GOP Presidential race. Through its exit poll analysis, Sexipedia researchers claim that they have dissected South Carolinians' presidential preferences (1= most preferred; 4= least preferred) based upon their rather diverse sexual proclivities.
Those who enjoy carnal relations with firs...
Political Facebook - Mitt Romney and Ron Paul
Political Facebook
Mitt Romney: Hi Ron, well it's been quite a week huh? With Jon Huntsman and Rick Perry dropping out that now leaves only four of us in the GOP presidential race.
2:11 p.m.
Ron Paul: Yes it does Mitt old boy. But I really have a feeling that old slick Rick Santorum will be dropping out pretty soon.
2:16 p.m.
Mitt Romney: What makes you say that?
2:21 p.m.
Ron Paul:...
Ten Comments from Experts about the Possible Ending of the World in 2012
What's the skinny on this scary prediction? Here's a sampling of comments:
Martha Stewart: "Be prepared. Pack yourself some nice take-out meals that travel REALLY well."
Queen Elizabeth II: "I'm not leaving without my tiara, my royal robes, and my purse."
Entrepreneur Donald Trump: "I STILL may run for president."
Twitter executive: "Send some good-bye tweets, but remembe...
Groundhogs Seek New Careers
They've just about had it, with looking for their shadows. "And it's a once-a-year gig," complained a groundhog who wishes to remain anonymous. "What are we supposed to do for the other 364 days of the year?"
An informal survey revealed a variety of career paths now followed by the industrious rodents.
One groundhog who has recently signed a contract with a famous weight-loss chain, had t...
Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry
Image of Christ seen in plastic Jesus plate - Is the savior microwave safe?!
Mammoth Ski Area Has A Mammoth Problem With Aspen Ski Area Finding A Real Mammoth.
Dirty Limericks by Gynecologists
Bad Romance: So What's the Skinny?
Given the assignment to write about the subject of Bad Romance, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly grabbed her trusty tape recorder and set out to collect the opinions of a number of experts in the field. A meticulous researcher, Farrelly went to the ends of the earth and beyond to get the whole scoop.
Here are her findings -- expressed in direct quotes from the interviewees, who were asked: What...
Political Facebook - Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, & John Boehner
Political Facebook
Ron Paul: Okay Mitt, so when are you and Captain Kangaroo Gingrich gonna come on down to Texas and take me up on my offer of that 25-mile bike ride?
9:03 a.m.
Mitt Romney: Ron, I have no plans of doing such a thing. And besides I do not even own a bike.
9:07 a.m.
Ron Paul: That's not a problem Mitty old boy. You can use my wife's bike. It's pink but hell, I'm pretty...
'Brazilian Butt' Craze
Does the Brazilian Big Butt Lift Workout Really Work?
The Brazilian Big Butt Lift sounds like an intense fun workout, after all Brazil is full of beautiful sexy women with great big butts. However, there are hundreds of Brazilian Big Butt workout DVDs on the market, all claiming to give you the 'junk in the trunk' results you're looking for.
How do you know if all the hype about the Brazil...
I Have Nothing to Write Today
An alarm clock sits next to my bed, pushed to the far corner of the night stand and out of convenient reach but no matter, there is never a need to set it. For some reason the brain seems to rise completely on its own at 5:00 AM every day whether or not the rest of the body is ready to crawl out from the warmth and protection of a 20 year old faded and tattered quilt.
The basics followed. R...
Star Jones Knows Her Pastries
Star Jones who has really started to pack on the pounds stated that she will be the hostess of A&E's America's Biggest Damn Cupcakes.
Topic "A" This!: Who Do You Have To Buck, Duck, and/or Muck Around Here To Get An Oscar Nomination?
HOLLYWOOD - Who knew??
Well, after seeing cool, calm, groovy as all get out of town, eyes on the surprise film guru Christopher Nolan's totally up front where it counts most, soon to be unleashed, full-service (Topic "A" - Hollywood style) documentary, "Who Do You Have To Buck, Duck and/or Muck Around Here To Get An Oscar Nomination?", it certainly appears as if the only valid from now on col...
Political Facebook - Michele Bachmann and Ron Paul
POLITICAL FACEBOOK
Ron Paul: Hi Michele, the guys sure do miss your pretty smiling face at our GOP debates. I just thought I'd say hi and ask if you have forgiven me for saying that your stupid hairdo looks fake.
4:27 p.m.
Michele Bachmann: Hi Ronnie, no I have not and I thought that I asked you to stop making entries into my Facebook account. I am still mad about the remark where you said...
Gingrich's Daughter's Prayer
Sounding like a prayer, two of Newt Gingrich daughters issued a statement following wife number two's revelation in a ABC Brian Ross interview: Newton Leroy wanted an open marriage and to continue his relationship with his mistress, Callista.
The above fails to sound like a family values candidate of South Carolina. Hence, the daughters statement.
Sort of sounding like:
Our father, which...
Nine things that'll guarantee you'll be a miserable bastard in the new year
Bah-Humbug is your middle name. But why should a miserable bastard only get to be miserable at the holidays? Commit to memory these easy-to-follow steps and you'll be sure to be insufferable for all twelve months.
1) Run away from your problems. Why face problems head on when you can run from them and possibly make others feel as if these same problems were theirs and not yours.
2) Tell your...
Seamus Romney Interviewed
Mathews - Hello everyone! This is Chris Mathews. Lets play "Hardball"! We begin today with the story of Seamus Romney, the Irish Setter who experiences projectile diarrhea whenever he encounters an expensive haircut. You don't want to get caught wearing shorts around this guy! It's bad enough stepping in the stuff, never mind getting wall to wall coverage! Haaa!
Today on "Hardball", we...
10 New Years Resolutions From the Desk of Barack Obama
This time of the year many people come up with a list of New Year's resolutions, and this is a list that we have come across from the President, enjoy:
Win the 2012 Presidential Election.
Convince all the voters that voted for change 4 years ago that this time that's not a good idea.
Convince voters that in the last 4 years in the White House I've managed to do more than rack up 5 trillio...
Slap Happy Holidays
Newark, NJ - Traveling anywhere these days can be quite the never ending, here to there, and, hopefully, all the way back, painful experience.
All of which, of course, gets a decided, rollover-like irritation boost, of sorts, during the holidays.
And, especially if, by chance, said travel plans takes you along a sometimes, anything but unamused, international-like route. That, more often t...
The news doesn't have to be bad.
I stopped reading the news for quite some time because it was depressing. But then I didn't know any current events and my friends found me boring. And I found that depressing. So I decided to read the news again, with a few changes to make it more positive.
For example, every time I saw the words 'killed' or 'murdered', I would change them to 'masturbated'. As in, five people were mastu...
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Seven day catch up
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