Magazine
JFK Airport Security Guards Justify Workday Naps
Confronted with the evidence (photos of napping on the job), the security guards had a variety of responses about their behavior, when interviewed by reporter Gail Farrelly from TheSpoof.com. Here's a sample:
-- "I catch a few winks during the slow hours, so that I'm ready to be extra vigilant during the busy ones."
-- "Sleeping isn't allowed on the job? Really? I have to check this...
Inside the FBI's terrorism cryptology unit
QM-NewsCorpse reporters have been given unprecedented access to the Bureau's legendary decoding unit that uses numerological, linguistic and symbological tricks to piece together terror suspects' agendas.
Here is a brief glance at its anagram division's profile of key players involved in the Boston Marathon bombings:
Chief suspects:
Tamerlan Tsarnaev anagrams to Relevant Satan Arm - a r...
Why Gun Companies Love Obama
It's hard to watch the news for five minutes without hearing "The government / police / aliens / Liberals / 'Mickey Mouse' Club are on their way to your house right F*ing now to take your guns!"
The internet is a buzzing with the news that New York is creating harsh anti-gun regulations. The US Congress has held hearings where they invited industry experts to tell them facts and stories while...
The Federal Government, Now Hiring New Employees, Changes Its Name To Lazy Heifer Couch Potato Productions To Earn Street Cred Among the American People
With sequester in the loom, the federal government is under pressure to change its image among the American people, beginning with an urban-inspired name change and employee overhaul.
Lazy Heifer Couch Potato Productions, formerly the federal government and ironically bearing great similarities to its new namesake, is opening departmental branches across the U.S., and is aggressively seeking e...
POTUS Live From The Rose Garden Via My Y-Phone
Sent From My Y-phone
Washington, DC
POTUS will momentarily begin speaking to assembled reporters here in the Rose Garden.
POTUS is walking to the podium with the Nuclear Football. He opens it and takes out a big red push-button with an antenna sticking out of it and sets the red button on top of the podium. Is he Fkng crzy ?
"Good afternoon everyone. Lester, that includes you too. I be...
Bill O'Reilly: "I'm on God's speed dial!"
In an interview on Fox News to be aired later this week Bill O'Reilly states, for a fact, that he is on God's speed dial. An advance copy of the interview has been leaked to the general media.
"Yes, I am on God's speed dial," states O'Reilly in the opening segment, "and have been for some time. We are kind of on a first name basis, so to speak." The interviewer seeming incredulous asks O'Reill...
How to Write a Failed Blog
What's a humorist to do? After posting the blog under its heading, "DATELINE: HUMOR," we had the normal expectation that readers will see the attached piece as the drivel of a dribbling writer.
Alas, like the proverbial "Beware of the Dog," signage, the readers scoff and ignore it.
We must confess that in our youth, the term 'humorist' was a dead tipoff that the individual was not funny. As...
The Three Stooges Got Eye-poked By The Oscars
It was an incredibly audacious act of snobbery that the truly classic Three Stooges movie got totally panned for any Oscar whatsoever at the most recent Academy Awards Ceremony.
To begin with, the Producer should have gotten an award for even thinking of the idea in the first place. True genius- remaking the Three Stooges, the cultural inspiration and societal high point of many male adolescen...
News From DC
The proposed new immigration bill is more than a thousand pages long. Foes plan to write a 2,000 page alternative. If anyone ever tries to write one on a filibuster, it should be finished by 2099.
Early Man's Version of Beer Pong was Different but the Results were the Same
Beer pong wasn't a big campus rage when I went to college. Back then, it was different. But the overall concept of getting smashed out of our skulls was the same "ends justify the means" of the contemporary college drinking game.
Most of the differences between Beer Pong then and now are just minutia inside the trivia. The variations don't add up to anything. And by anything, I translate this i...
Climbing the College Dating Ladder: Start at the Bottom, in the Pits of Hell!
Well, you're off to college. The hometown where you grew up is a long ways away; things feel strange, but you're getting by. Do you know why? You're a stud; you're a player.
Sometimes at the campus parties you get so drunk that you forget the first name of your Dad and even your younger brother's nickname. I know how it is, I've been there, but you have to think through all this. Get hold of y...
A List of 10 New Products That Just Did Not Sell
Every year hundreds of corporations throughout the entire United States spend millions of dollars on developing, marketing, and selling brand new products.
Some times they get lucky and the product-buying American consumer accepts the product and the item becomes a manufacturing success.
But most of the times, however, the public rejects the new product.
And that item soon is sent off int...
U.S. Politicos: Where Are They Now?
Faded Spotlight Magazine Presents...
U.S. POLITICOS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Mitt Romney - The old Flip-Flopper, who got trounced in the 2012 presidential election by President Barack Obama, is seriously considering moving down to Mexico and living with one of his cousins who owns a piñata factory.
Ron Paul - The 77-year-old congressman from Texas is living in the Lone Star state and trying t...
The List of 10 Little Known Facts About Michelle Obama AKA The First Mama
Michelle Obama has repeatedly stated that she has no aspirations, urges, needs, or desires to ever go into politics.
She has made it abundantly clear, after having talked at great length with Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and even GOPette Condoleezza Rice and hearing all about the behind-the-scenes happenings.
Mrs. Obama has said that she wants to eventually head up her very own law firm a...
Political Facebook: Kim Jong Un, Dennis Rodman, and Sarah Palin
POLITICAL FACEBOOK
Kim Jong Un: Hello Dennis are you there?
8:13 a.m.
Dennis Rodman: Right here Kimmy. What's up dude?
8:16 a.m.
Kim Jong Un: Oh nothing much. I was just having a bowl of rice pudding and reading the latest issue of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily.
8:19 a.m.
Dennis Rodman: Say bro, I sure have been hearing a lot of bad stuff about you lately.
8:21 a.m.
Kim Jong Un...
A List of 10 Little Known Facts About North Korea's Kim Jong Un
Just in the past few months North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has become one of the most famous individuals in the entire world.
The little man who many say resembles the Pillsbury Doughboy, the Michelin Man, and a male version of Nicki Minaj, has become more famous than the Kardashian sisters, Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney.
Kim Jong Un has even made friends with one of his all-time favorite NBA b...
NY State Unemployment Benefits Collected by Dead People
It's the gift that keeps on giving. Even after death.
Word is that officials will be trying to get the money back. Huh? Retrieval from The Great Beyond? Lotsa luck with that one!
This situation intrigued reporter Gail Farrelly, so she went to a NYS unemployment benefits office and interviewed applicants waiting in line to see what they thought of this news.
Here's what some of them s...
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New Bumper Stickers For Our Brainwashed Times.
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Erased by the Light: A Choose Your Own Adventure Account of the Afterlife
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The Spinning Top
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Next Dan Brown Book Chapter Accidentally Leaked by Publisher
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The Latest Thing In Human Evolution - Interchangeable Body Parts
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People get what they deserve
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Ben Affleck on parenting
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