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Thursday, 2 December 2010

image for WikiLeaks: Angelina Jolie Worked For CIA

Although not near as startling as the fact that Julia Child was a spy during World War II, the report in WikiLeaks CIA file shows that actress Angelina Jolie was working for them for 4-5 years before dropping out two years ago.

"She was doing a great job for us", stated one agent who told us he was Al Smith. "Jolie could get into places that we couldn't, plus have some intimate moments with whomever she thought she could get some important information."

But she isn't now?

"No. Someone compromised her position some time ago and the United States got her out."

A second agent stated that Jolie could go just about anywhere because she's a beautiful woman plus she was well known for her movie roles and care about children.

"We used the excuse of her looking for children to adopt and she was seriously out to adopt, so we combined the two."

"One thing I liked about Agent Angel was that she always insisted that the United Stated government helped the orphanages and other places she visited. That only made her more popular."

Was Brad Pitt in on the news?

"We don't think so but he wasn't a risk. We're talking about 'personal' things, not the formula for some secret weapon. Knowing your potential enemy's personal life can always come in handy."

"Maybe they'll make a movie some day?"

This is Howard Crabtree for The West Coast Post!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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