Jokes

All jokes submitted by norma snockers.

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The Musician's Woe

The one thing that is worse than a piano out of tune is an organ that goes flat in the middle of a piece....

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think were so obsessed with getting laid?...

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Telling Porkies

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, What happened...

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Being Frank

In order to save on vacation costs, two secretaries are rooming together. On the first night Jill turns to her friend, puts her hand on her shoulder, and says, Theres something Ive been meaning to tell...

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A New Title

Did you hear the new and politically correct name for lesbian? A: It has been changed to vagitarian....

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The Irish Newlyweds

Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night waiting for their sexual relations to arrive...

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You're Bragging!

A gay man is in a bar, on all fours, trying to pick up some money he dropped. A big bouncer says, Hey, you! Move it or Ill give you a foot up the ass! The gay man looks around and says, I think youre...

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A Sticky Situation

Two prostitutes were talking. The first one said, Last night I made $500 and I feel like a bottle of champagne! Well, said the other whore, Last night I made $5000 and I feel like a pot of glue!...

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The Wife's Worries

I always worry when you leave for a weekend with the guys, sobbed the pretty young wife. Dont worry about me, babe, he soothed her. Ill be back before you know it. I know, she sighed. Thats what worries...

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A life sentence

Life is like a penis.... When its soft its hard to beat, but when its hard you get screwed....

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A Potent Mixture

What do you get when you cross creme de mint with Spanish fly? Creme de pants....

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How Much Do You Lose?

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular checkup. Any specific problems you should tell me about? the doctor asked. Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems...

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Ovine Love

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer. So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep? Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them...

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Red Balls

A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor. I cant figure it out, doc, and Im really worried, said the husband. My testicles are turning red. Thats pretty unusual,...

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Limits

My husband limits me to one drink at parties, because after one drink I can feel it and after two drinks anyone can....

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Education

A princess gets her education one knight at a time....

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Porn for Christians

Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, and several other disgraced televangelists have started a new magazine. It combines porno and Christianity and is called Repenthouse....

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Things That Eat Things

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with tor that eat things. 1st little boy says, Alligator. Very good, thats a big word. 2nd boy says, Predator. Yes, thats another big word. Johnny says,...

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The Smoker's Position

The 69 position also called the smokers position because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray....

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The Angry Barmaid

You can tell the barmaid is pissed off at you when theres a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary....

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The Clever Woman

A clever woman I know wired up her vibrator to her bedside radio and came up with the worlds first radio alarm cock!...

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The Disability

The anatomy lesson for the week was the way in which the body of a handicapped person compensates for its deficiency. As an example, the professor showed a slide of a man with no legs whose arms and shoulders...

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