The Endangered Habitat Of Americans

Submitted by WhoAreYouAll
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Sunday, 4 April 2010

The Fourth Horsemen has arrived. All over The Nation, fast-food chains are closing down. The Guido infestation reaching astronomical heights. Seems to me that no one cares about our dilemma. Seems WE don't care about our dilemma. Well listen here, America. The United States without Burger King is like a third world country without starving children! It loses it's appeal. So you better forget about investing into whatever is profitable these days and go buy yourself a heart attack. If you love America, that's exactly what you'll do. I'd make it that anyone who eats healthy be found guilty of treason. And every one who buys imports be put on the electric chair.

You see, In my heart there is nothing but love for this country. I spring a hard-on every time I hear the pledge of Allegiance. But The States have been going through a little bit of turmoil these last couple of months. My local Burger King closed down! Now all that's left is that shitty diner that burns everything it cooks. I remember when I first found out it was no longer open. Nothing else that happened this last decade has made such an enormous impact on me. I seeped into a dark and steady depression for months. Only recently have I recovered. Ever since KFC opened up across the avenue.
You see all around The Nation, people have been noticing a lack of diarrhea. A lack of indigestion. A lack of fast-food. It's a terrible thing to realize that
something that you love as much and know not life without, can disappear quicker than you blink. It's a terrible thing, life without Burger King.

Another thing, is it me or are neighbors with complete disregard for human decency are a little bit annoying. I'm pretty sure playing Jessie's Girl about 5 billions times a day
is considered torture these days. My whole sleeping schedule is has become dependent on it. That and when I can or can't masturbate.

So you see, I have a dream. A world full of fast-food. None of these bland, stupid, and severely annoying breathing zombies known as Guidos. And this dumb ass neighbor who just fucking won't stop with the 80's hits!

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