If you have received a Wedding Invitation to the marriage of Will & Kate, here are a few tips on how to diplomatically refuse the kind invitation.
I don't believe in marriage
I am a republican and want to destroy the Monarchy
My divorce proceeding come up on that day
The Prison has refused to allow me day leave
I have an operation for a vasectomy on that day
I shall be sailing around the world single handedly
I am training for a flight to Mars
After having slept with both of you and not been asked to marry either of you I would feel uneasy seeing you marrying when I know you love me
With the Police so busy I can't miss the opportunity to deal with unsettled business
I want to see the Wedding on TV
Note: This advice is given free of charge but a donation to my cause would be appreciated.
