How to Avoid that Wedding

Submitted by j.w.
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Wednesday, 23 February 2011

If you have received a Wedding Invitation to the marriage of Will & Kate, here are a few tips on how to diplomatically refuse the kind invitation.

I don't believe in marriage

I am a republican and want to destroy the Monarchy

My divorce proceeding come up on that day

The Prison has refused to allow me day leave

I have an operation for a vasectomy on that day

I shall be sailing around the world single handedly

I am training for a flight to Mars

After having slept with both of you and not been asked to marry either of you I would feel uneasy seeing you marrying when I know you love me

With the Police so busy I can't miss the opportunity to deal with unsettled business

I want to see the Wedding on TV

Note: This advice is given free of charge but a donation to my cause would be appreciated.

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