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TJL
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Posted: 31 Mar 08 00:18
Actually, I'm not sure if I want to make up stories like this:

Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table


Friday, March 28, 2008

Ohio police have arrested a man who was caught on tape allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Art Price Jr., 40, of Bellevue, Ohio, was arrested after a neighbor videotaped him engaged sexually with the metal table, according to a report on FOX19.com.

Price was seen on four separate occasions, always between 10:30 a.m. and noon, having sex with the picnic table, Bellevue Police Capt. Matt Johnson told the TV station.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude," Johnson said, noting the table in question had a hole in the middle intended to hold an umbrella.

Price, a married father of three school-age kids, faces felony counts of public indecency because his house is near an elementary school, according to the report.


The table was probably asking for it.

Tragic Rabbit
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Tragic Rabbit

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Posted: 31 Mar 08 05:33
You have to wonder about that videotaping neighbor, though.



TR

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Jimbo Gunn
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Jimbo Gunn

Location: HMP Belmarsh
Registered: 19 Mar 08

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Posted: 31 Mar 08 15:03
In the UK I saw one that made me check the date and make sure it wasn't yet tomorrow:

[On the Formula 1 Boss in Nazi Sex Orgy from yesterday's
News of The World]

The Daily Telegraph writes


"

Mr Ecclestone also ruled out the possibility that Mr Mosley's actions had any Nazi overtones. "Knowing Max it might be all a bit of a joke rather than anything against Jewish people," he added.

Mr Mosley is the fourth son of British World War II fascist Sir Oswald Mosley, a friend of Adolf Hitler, and is currently serving his fourth term as the president of the FIA, which manages Formula One.

"


Full story here...

One day son, all this shit will be yours to deal with!
IN SEINE
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IN SEINE

Location: AREA 51, NORTH WESTERN REGION
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Posted: 31 Mar 08 16:13 - Edited By: IN SEINE, 31 Mar 08 17:18

Quote: TJL

Actually, I'm not sure if I want to make up stories like this:

Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table


Friday, March 28, 2008

Ohio police have arrested a man who was caught on tape allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Art Price Jr., 40, of Bellevue, Ohio, was arrested after a neighbor videotaped him engaged sexually with the metal table, according to a report on FOX19.com.

Price was seen on four separate occasions, always between 10:3In UK we ca0 a.m. and noon, having sex with the picnic table, Bellevue Police Capt. Matt Johnson told the TV station.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude," Johnson said, noting the table in question had a hole in the middle intended to hold an umbrella.

Price, a married father of three school-age kids, faces felony counts of public indecency because his house is near an elementary school, according to the report.


The table was probably asking for it.


In UK we call it 'laying the table'. Thousands do it!

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes!"
Duncan Whitehead
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Posted: 31 Mar 08 16:16
Very Good Insiene. 5 stars for that one!

myhat2u
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Posted: 31 Mar 08 17:06
I hear a bench warrant has been issued for the man's arrest.

Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
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Posted: 31 Mar 08 18:18
Since the umbrella was obviously missing, one can only assume that the table was consenting...as it was topless.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 31 Mar 08 23:03
We have a garden swing seat that keeps flirting with me. I might go for it.

A friend of mine is involved in 'swinging'

He says it's great

Ferg

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Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 31 Mar 08 23:10
At least it wasn't sodomy...as he didn't take the table in the seat.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
BuckwheatsButt
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Posted: 31 Mar 08 23:10
I once dated that table's sister...Table Spread. It didn't go anywhere, she was as flat as a board!

Fergus McCarthy
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Posted: 31 Mar 08 23:26
It must have been a moulded plastic table if you think about it, depending on the size of your own umbrella pole and a can of Castrol GTX it might just work out as a relationship.

If it was a timber table he would never have done it a second time.

End grain.

Fergus

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Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 31 Mar 08 23:34
Even with a dollop of heavy duty axle grease you wouldn't go again would you?





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Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 31 Mar 08 23:45
TJL,

You really ought to spoof this (since you started the thread). We've given you enough bad puns and ideas to make a story.

One more:

Was he first attracted to the table because she had a couple of nice pairs of legs?

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 31 Mar 08 23:48
Well varnished and a bottle of baby oil?



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Fictitious Writer
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Registered: 31 Mar 08

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Posted: 1 Apr 08 00:48
It sounds made up.

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TJL
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Posted: 1 Apr 08 08:21

Quote: myhat2u

I hear a bench warrant has been issued for the man's arrest.


Good one!

TJL
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Posted: 1 Apr 08 08:23

Quote: Jalapenoman

TJL,

You really ought to spoof this (since you started the thread). We've given you enough bad puns and ideas to make a story.

One more:

Was he first attracted to the table because she had a couple of nice pairs of legs?


No, I'm going to pass on this one.

Although I have always thought my coffee table is just asking for it...




 
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