BIRMINGHAM, ENG. & NEW YORK - At approximately 2pm, the Apple store in Birmingham's BullRing would be robbed.
But they would not get far.
Reports from eyewitnesses state that a youth dressed in a metallic orange outfit attacking the robbers, and rescuing the stolen Apple devices and returning them to the store.
Before disapearing into the crowds of people, the masked hero said this: "I am everywhere. Nowhere. Anywhere. Before 9pm. I am Vigilanteen."
According to data 'obtained' from T-Mobile/Orange servers, Vigilanteen had been carrying a HTC Desire HD with him, and had placed several calls with a Canadian woman who is in New York.
"We don't know who he is," said a spokesman for West Midlands Police, "but we'll find him."
The FBI are also helping in attempts to track down this woman. Apparently she is a Lady Godiva. "We won't press charges," said a spokesman for the FBI, "we have nothing to fear from this lady."
Back in Birmingham, Vigilanteen had been going across the city correcting spelling mistakes and gramatical errors.
One security camera near a McDonald's sees him replacing the 'thru' with 'through', and correcting the title of a new film 'Mars Needs Moms' to 'Mars Needs Mums' and various Subway sandwhich shop ads pertaining to 'do the math' to 'maths'.
"This grave desercration of private property must be stopped!" said David Cameron, UK Prime Minister, after finding out that the Vigilanteen had held the Universities Minister hostage demanding the 'lowering of tuition fees for students or else'.
The demands were met, as Vigilanteen had the entirety of Parliament rigged to play extremely loud music recommeded by a Victor Nichols.
"He is a terrorist!" screamed the Daily Mail, "and most likely an immigrant hell bent on stealing crime away from British criminals!"
No word has yet appeared, but one source suggests that he may be part of an international group of 'Spooferheroes'.
The police are moving in on an individual on the Avenue of the Americas in Manhattan, who has been lying there for several days, but had been thought to have been a homeless person.
As of press time, Vigilanteen was chasing down an idiot from a Birmingham secondary school who had stolen this reporter's hat earlier in the day.
