Mike Hammer Gets Hammered In The Bronx

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 20 June 2009

image for Mike Hammer Gets Hammered In The Bronx
Charlie's Bar On Arthur Avenue, Near The Market. In The Bronx.

Fictional detective Mike Hammer, a creation of the late and widely respected author Mickey Spillane, last night went to Charlie's Bar on Arthur Avenue in the Bronx and got absolutely hammered.

Arthur Avenue is not a particularly good place to go and drink yourself into insensibility, as you'll probably end up getting mugged, ass-raped, murdered, or worse.

"He was lashed up big time," Bronx resident and bar patron Kleenex Johnson told us. "I don't get why these downtown Charlies come up here to get wrecked. I mean, me, I gotta live wid it. It's not like I ever had a choice."

Barkeep Huggy Johnson (no relation) told us:

"For a fictional character, I gotta admit he could stash dem JD's away. His liver gotta be pulped."

Hammer was last seen after drinking 43 JD's staggering along Arthur Avenue in the small hours looking for the nearest subway station. Taxi driver, Travis Bickle told us:

"Yeah,I saw him leave, but I didn't shoot him. If he's dead, it wasn't me. Alright? You talkin' to me?"

More Bronx related bullshit as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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