Paris - (Web of Intrigue Mess): The official Investigating Magistrate has blasted 'assinine' reports that 28 year-old Spiderman 3 actress Lucy Gordon was involved in 'some sort of seedy Michael Hutchence-type of autoerotic asphyxiation' when she died in her Paris apratment earlier this week.
"Women don't do zees feelthy choking wank," was the Magistrate's informed opinion after some highly dubious hypothetical scenarios emerged from the Paris City morgue.
INXS musician Michael Hutchence notoriously died in 1997 after a self-stimulating asphyxiation sex game went hideously wrong.
Some disgruntled fans eventually blamed sad-ass smackhead girfriend Paula Yates for 'contributory negligence' in the tacky demise.
Paris' City Coroner has yet to complete a full autopsy on Gordon although toxiciology test have cast doubt on official hypotheses concerning her final activities last Wednesday.
Spiderman 4 is scheduled for release in 2012.
