Controversial rapper and American R&B singer Bobby Brown has come forward today to support claims by lunatic-fringe would-be royalty Mr Robert Brown that he is Princess Margaret's lovechild by Group Captain Townsend.
Bobby Brown, real name Robert Brown, has claimed that Princess Margaret also fathered him after an affair with a Jamaican waiter on a family holiday. "At the time," said Bobby, "My daddy told me that she wanted to give all her illegitimate kids the same name, so she would know them if she ever met them again."
However, unlike Mr Robert Brown, who has had to fight to see his late mothers will, Bobby Brown has been financially supported by the Royal Family for the past 39 years. It is believed that Prince Charles was instrumental in Bobby's ill-fated marriage to singer Whitney Houston.
"Yes, he introduced us one evening at the Palace," admitted Bobby Brown," He knew Whitney through his love of the Three Degrees. In those days me and Charlie hung out most nights in Jack Swing joints smoking spliffs and getting down."
When asked why he doesn't resemble his famous mother, Bobby Brown removed his dark brown contact lenses revealing blue eyes to gasps of shock from the surrounding paparazzi. "The resemblance was uncanny" remarked one old hack.