Woodpecker taken to Intensive Care ward after pecking too hard!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 16 November 2020

image for Woodpecker taken to Intensive Care ward after pecking too hard!
Head-Banging woodpeckers could be mutating into migrating ducks, it's all down to global warming!

(NOT EDITED) A German woodpecker, pecking as woodpeckers tend to do, took its genetically embedded habit a peck too far, and pecked itself into unconsciousness!

Luckily, passing ramblers, listening joyfully to the woodpecker pecking on a dead tree, saw the woodpecker drop like a stone. It hit the leaf-covered ground, which saved its life because it was a rather soft landing. The ramblers rushed over to see if 'Woody' was still alive, picked it up, and rushed it to a local hospice filled with Covid 19 patients. They then referred the ramblers to a local vet.

Just in Time, the vet examined the woodpecker, and decided to operate on its tiny brain. After coming out of a full anesthetic, alive, the diagnosis was; too much head-banging caused the woodpecker to lose consciousness. After X-raying its brain, it seems as though it suffered minor brain-damage too, AAAGH!

The Woodpecker is now recovering in Intensive Care, and it seems his pecking career is over! One of the ramblers decided to adopt this brain-damaged woodpecker. She promised the vet she would not allow it to peck anymore, feed it with enough insects, and keep him in a huge budgie cage with no dead trees in sight.

A professor of woodpeckers has told the new owner that woodpeckers never usually have brain-damage through pecking too hard, and this is a very unique bird. He requested that the woodpecker be brought to his university for further examination, because woodpeckers might be evolving in a strange way, and mutating into migrating ducks because of global warming.

Wacky, German Heavy Metal head-bangers, have donated 6000,00 Euros to pay for the pecker's operation, because without head-banging woodpeckers, they would be listening to Beyonce!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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