Written by President Bush

Tuesday, 5 December 2006

image for Kim Jong Ill?
Kim Jong 'Ill'

Preliminary reports coming out of North Korea suggest that President Kim Jong-il may in fact BE ill .. as in pregnant. A classified CIA document leaked to the Winston Salem Times paints a picture of subterfuge, chicanery and deceit that far exceeds the world's already murky vision of the secretive Communist nation, top secret #1 being, Kim Jong-il may be pregnant.

"No wonder he/she wants to blow up the world" one unnamed CIA operative reportedly said in the leaked classified CIA document. Jong-il, long thought to be a man, then a woman then a man again is, if rumors are true in fact a woman pretending to be a man .. who looks like a woman. Who wants to blow up the world.

"It gets kind of weird from there" the unnamed CIA agent pointed out in the document.

Ripley's Believe It Or Not does indeed report instances in the world's history where human males have in fact become impregnated but never reached the point where an actual baby was born. One professor at Johns Hopkins University noted,

"Even if a man did bring a baby to full term I've no idea how the baby could get out. The baby would be trapped .. inside the man. Would the baby then continue to grow, in the man's abdomen, become a toddler, teenager, adult? These are questions the medical community has never considered before. Based on all data so far we say that Kim Jong-il is in fact a woman. Pretending to be a man. Who looks like a woman. In a strange creepy Margaret Thatcher kind of way."

President Bush, having read the leaked CIA document jokingly told reporters at a Washington news conference that he already suspected that Jong-il was a woman saying,

"Kim? HA! Back in Texas a man'd get laughed out of the saloon with a name like Kim a'HA a'HA HA!"

Reporters reportedly laughed "on the inside" at the president's attempt at humor before quizzing the president on his mission accomplished victory in Iraq causing the president's laughter to subside by a measurable number of decibels.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kim Jong-Il

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