Written by D P Whitehead

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

47 year old Fort Lauderdale man, Duncan Whitehead, has made the split second assumption that the fifty year old man (or thereabouts) who he saw walking along South Beach Miami yesterday afternoon is probably a total and utter cunt.

Whitehead's assumption was evaluated on nothing more than the fact that the man, who was white, had dreadlocks, the hairstyle associated most closely with the Rastafari movement.

Whitehead, who sports a neat short back and sides haircut, was heard to say "What a knob - look at that twat, the one who thinks he is black, fucking tool. I hate white people who have 'dreads'. Cunt. White people should have "white people" haircuts. The moron should get a beehive or a haircut like Elvis - fucking prick. Look at him, he must be at least fifty. And why the fuck does he have to wear tight speedos? Did not one of his friends tell him he looks like a complete prick?"

Whitehead, who then tutted and shook his head then made eye contact with the "dreadlocked" man and politely nodded before continuing on his way.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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