Zac Efron argues against Mr. Lynn

Written by Kid Icarus

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

image for Zac Efron argues against Mr. Lynn
"I have to hurry! Aunt Lee says I need to eat a gecko's tongue for my constipation!"

Zac Efron held a news conference today, taking questions from reporters on Richard Lynn's conclusion that Asians have the highest IQ in the human race. Efron said he highly doubts Lynn's research data is correct after he read a news report about the declining population of Asian geckos

"With every blunder that Asians commit they show evidence to the world that Richard Lynn's research data is not accurate," said Efron.

Rumors in Asia claim that the nocturnal Tokay Gecko can be used to help treat the HIV virus. Thousands of Asians with HIV are devouring the little geckos like popcorn with the believe that they will be cured from HIV. This has led to a sharp boom in smuggling of the reptile, putting it at risk for extinction.

The rumors started as a hoax by online bloggers and quickly spread through Asia. European scientist warned that using geckos to treat AIDS and impotence may put patients at risk.

On one Asian blog there is a recipe for curing the common cold with a stew that's composed of one crow feather, one eye of toad, four rat fingers, one gecko tongue, and a drop of fresh chicken blood.

Efron says geckos have long been used as traditional medicine, in Asia, for illnesses such as diabetes, asthma, skin disease and blindness. Even though the geckos have never cured any of those illnesses, Asians still believe in the gecko's curing abilities and the carcasses of thousands of geckos are dried up and ground into powder for consumption.

The most recent online Asian blogs and newspaper articles claim the consumption of the gecko's tongues and internal organs is a miracle cure for constipation.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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