"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!". So begins the terrifying commercial for Phillip's groundbreaking nightmare inducing dream machine. The commercial itself has been banned from over 300 stations nationwide because of the sheer unbridled terror that it instills in many viewers. The 60 second commercial, reportedly costing over 80 million dollars and written by Stephen King rivals any medium budget full-length horror movie ever made.
"I' don't think I'll be buying one of those nightmare machines just yet" one Atlanta resident said after seeing the commercial adding,
"Or any time in the near or distant future. In fact ..."
That's the kind of PR Phillips wants. Negative. People too terrified by the commercial to even walk BY the machine at Walmart let alone take it it home if Walmart GAVE it to them for FREE although .. an unlikely event that one.
Currently being test marketed in 10 cities nationwide, Phillip's Nightmare Terror Dream Machine (patent #49843) is, as it's name implies, a machine that induces unbelievably terrifying nightmares that, according to Phillips "send you screaming for your mama, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Buddha, Allah WHOEVER you can run screaming to for HELPPPPP !!"
"It's all about buzz" one Phillips ad exec said. "Buzz".
The $99 Nightmare Terror Machine comes with 100 pre-programmed night terrors including
* Fleeing from Zombies
* Surrounded by grizzly lion Gargoyle demon dragons with flaming horns
* Bound and gagged. By the BTK killer
* Boiling in Pennzoil. In a graveyard. In Hell
and many many more. YOU decide, YOU pick your own night terror!
One CNN technology reviewer tested the Nightmare machine and reported his findings saying,
"My living God"
"My living God"
"OH my LIVING God !!"
Why would Phillips create such a machine? WHO would pay hard earned money to be terrified out of their living wits?
Phillips responded ..
"Deep down people love to be terrified. That's why horror films gross more than all other genres. We simply created a way for people to experience sheer unbridled TERROR at home, in their beds, in their dreams. How cool is that?"
Phillips posted testimonials for it's machine on it's website ..
TESTIMONIALS .. http://www.phillips.com/terror
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* I found myself in the dark. In a MORGUE of all places, strapped to a slap. The moonlight 's glowing softly through the window. All of a sudden this sheet draped body next to me slowly rises, ghastly grin on his face .. I woke up. Haven't slept since.
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* For some reason I found myself in the movie ALIEN, communicating with Sigourney Weaver via walkie talkie .. I'm in a dark corridor I'm frantically searching for ANY sign of escape there's this creepy music playing and these strange hissss sounds and all of a sudden Sigourney tells me STOP!! STOP!! STOP FOR THE LOVE OF .. YAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
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PHILLIPS. "We're always coming up with SOMEthin"
http://www.phillips/nightmare_purchase.com
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Legal Disclaimer -> Phillips Corporation assumes no responsibility for heart attacks and/or strokes or any other terror induced causes leading to death
and/or total or partial dismemberment due to the use of our product. Phillips Corporation further hereby absolves itself of any and all responsibility for single, double or triple homicides committed while under the influence of terror induced Hallucinogenic ..
