Second Prophet (of two) named by Ron Weinland

Written by Lady Godiva

Thursday, 18 March 2010

image for Second Prophet (of two) named by Ron Weinland
Mrs. Weinland smiles sweetly. She is currently filming ads. for Crest Whitestrips.

As I continued my research on Ronald Weinland, one of only two true prophets (according to Ronald Weinland), he has, at last named the 2nd prophet. It is HIS WIFE.

He is now saying that God speaks to him via email on a daily basis, using an alias.

His followers are encouraged to give financially, of course, to his 'church'. His book-keeper is his DAUGHTER.

He recently returned from a Meditteranean cruise and when asked where the money came from, the said that he had been lucky when he visited Canada and had bought a coffee at Tim Horton's. On 'rolling up the rim to win' he found he had WON the cruise.

When told some of his followers had sold their homes to be able to support his church he feigned surprise and said he would pray for them. First he had to visit the bank in order to transfer some of his cash into one of his Swiss accounts.

Ronald and his wife have recently booked flights to England for the 2012 Olympics. When reminded of his own prophecy of the end of the world taking place on March 27, 2012, BEFORE the Olympics he commented:

"Well, God's changed his mind before, so I thought I'd get the tickets 'just in case'. Also I have to spend all my easily earned cash on SOMETHING."

His wife smiled sweetly and adjusted her bullet proof vest.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more