PHOENIX, AZ - The Phoenix convention center hosting a gathering of members of the Veterans of Foreign Wars, before which President Barack Obama spoke Monday, was surrounded by pickets, some supporting the President, some opposed to the President. And some were carrying firearms, openly, including one African American man who carried a slung Colt AR-15 assault style weapon.
"That particular gun nut wasn't even an Arizona citizen. Might have been one of them Black Muslims," spat one Phoenix cop.
Dozens of plain clothes police officers and Secret Service agents intently monitored the crowd, closely following the obvious weapons toting citizens. No arrests were made of the armed men and women because, in Arizona, it is legal to carry a firearm on one's person.
"The President was never in any danger," said the Phoenix Mayor, who TheSpoof.com refuses to identify by name, because any asshole that believes guns in the hands of whack jobs stupid enough to approach the President of the United States while possessing a deer rifle capable of killing Obama at 1000 yards is no problem is certifiably insane.
"Our citizens showed the world the correct way to approach the leader of the free world (with fire arms in hand)," said the dickhead Mayor.
Newspapers and broadcast commentators have been concerned enough about armed Americans showing up near the President, and have repeatedly condemned the practice. The Secret Service has reported a marked increase in the numbers of "serious threats made against Obama since his election and inauguration in January.
"While we delegate dozens of officers to monitor the obviously armed, incredibly stupid ass wipes that crowd about POTUS, we have fewer agents able to search out snipers hidden within school book depositories, and hiding in the trunks of later model Toronados and Impalas," said one disgusted Secret Service agent.
"He's right; the danger is clear and present," agreed a second agent who refused to appear on camera. "Just think about it," he continued; "It just takes one psycho, shooting at, and missing, the President, which might hit one of us in the Security Detail. One of us could be killed by mistake!"
The generally liberal, 2nd Amendment hating, Democratic Congress intends to pass legislation to require all legal gun owners, and especially paroled killers, assassins, and Arab terrorists to turn in all weapons, one-year prior to the anticipated visit from the President, Hillary Clinton, Diane Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Martha Stewart, John Stewart, Tiger Woods, the Rev. Jessie Jackson, Michael Jackson-if he's not dead-his corpse if he really did croak, the former Miss California, Jane Fonda (especially Jane Fucking Fonda) Adam Lambert, the Son of God, or the Queen of Daytime TV, St. Oprah.
Three well known gun totes were put on the Secret Service "Shoot on Sight List:" Sarah Palin, Patricia Hearst, and rocker, Ted Nugent.
"We'll take down those three fugitives from reality without warning," the senior agent said.
