Secretary of Agriculture Willie Nelson Flying To Africa

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 17 January 2009

image for Secretary of Agriculture Willie Nelson Flying To Africa
One of Willie Nelson's boots (right) which is on display in The Guitar Pickers Hall of Fame in Austin, Texas

AUSTIN, Texas - Secretary of Agriculture Willie Nelson will be flying to Africa on January 21, the day after President Barack Obama's inaguration.

Secretary Nelson will be going to Kenya on a personal search and find mission for the new President.

The mission's goal is to find Barack Obama's long lost twin sister, Nakalisha, which is Kenyan for girl who rides zebra backwards so that she can have darn good view of the past.

Nakalisha who is three minutes and 42 seconds older than her twin brother Barack, reportedly works in a spear manufacturing plant in the town of Mombasa.

Before that it is believed that she worked as a receptionist at Bobby's Elephant Neutering Clinic up in the capital city of Nairobi.

The city of Mombasa is located on the coast of the Indian Ocean. It is noted throughout Kenya for it's fantastically delicious baboonburgers as well as it's booming Hippopatamus trapping business.

Mombasa is also the home of African blues singer Canfazella Ubocka, who is considered by many to be the Celine Dion of the jungle.

Nakalisha whose last name is believed to be either Tuntatonga, Safapooni, or Zzanzanticki shows her last known address as being: 1739 South Panting Python Road, Mombasa, Kenya.

Once Secretary of Agriculture Nelson finds Nakalisha he will help her pack all of her belongings and he will escort her to America where she will reside in one the White House's 17 guest rooms.

Nelson said that at first Nakalisha is expected to work answering phones in the White House Media Room, but that President Obama's plan is to eventually transfer her to work as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's official translator.

Nakalisha can speak 13 languages fluently including Spanish, French, German, Icelandic, Mormon, Australian, Cherokee, and Irish.

A close friend of Nakalisha's, Vutti Vyvecka, said that Nakalisha is a very sweet girl whose favorite singer is Alicia Keys. Her favorite food is Chicken Fried Chimp and her favorite NBA team is the Harlem Globetrotters.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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