White and Nerdy Goes Blacker than Black Gansgta

Funny story written by AliceinWonderland238

Thursday, 19 June 2008

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Tim's new gangsta lifestyle

From mowing the lawn and playing Minesweeper, Michigan nerd Tim has gone from "White and Nerdy" to "Blacker than Black Gansgta."

Known previously for his HTML skills and action figure collection, Tim reportedly has undergone a mid-teenager identity crisis and has developed a love for rap music and "Black people in general."

"Yeah, I'm frizzeln' aware I'm 'whiter than sour cream…'" said Tim. "But yo, me dizzlin' tis hizzlin' black gangsta style from yo mother's wana-be black azz yo!"

Music

Tim's days of grooving to the Happy Day's Theme song are now spent break dancing and grinding to "Smack That" and getting crank to Soulja Boy.

"Man fo'rizzle these 'Black people' songs are dizzlin' great!"

Former friends of Tim's say he no longer talks them but "hangs out with those stupid black people…how come they're so cool?"

"Fo'rizzlin' songs are 'bout rizzlin' tings-prison, sex, drugs, and hoes; hizzle my dizzle fo'rizzle, yo!"

Style

Tim's style has changed too, from tuck in sweaters and bookish turtlenecks to baggy T-shirts and pants that hang below the knees.

"Yo'frizzel my nizzle dizzle fo'rizzle, shizzle? I roll wit my frizzlin' pants lower tan my azz, chain hangs low yo; an' my shirts dizzlin' big; nizzle."

The classic Tim White and Nerdy style had neither Bling nor any grills-but with his new identity, he is all bling and grill.

"My ol' braces were shizz, I be decoratin' them wit tat hot, frizzelin' tin foilin' style. Fo'rizzle, yo, me have tat Bling-Bling fo'rizzle; my ice be dizzlin' all up on me, flowin' from my pimped out ears hizzlin' down to my fresh nizzlin', pimped out necklaces. Fo' rizzle, my dizzle, fo' shizzle; man, hizzle!"

Life

The old crib Tim had was just not cool; books covered every free space, and his parents maintained an alcohol and drug free house. Tim did what every gangsta does-joined a gang and left home for the streets.

"Now I can roll wit my hizzzlin' frizzlin' gang members every night. Tis tight life is full of drugs, hoes, and all gun wars. Hell yeah, man, frizzle my nizzle hizzle; yo I be hizzlin' snortin' every day ten gang-bangin' all night. We be the bizzlin' street hounds frizzle yo; fo'rizzlin' I be the man on the streets. Scared of me now fool?

"Yo, fo' rizzle me be the man; those po-pos be dead -my gang be bustin' their azzez all day an' night. Rizzle life be on the streets, big man be down; we be the lords.

"Fo'rizzle my dizzle, fo' sizzle, my nizzle, hizze, bizzle; man, out!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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