Charleston, SC - Standing next to the Confederate flag flying on state capital grounds, a group of hypocritical rightwing pundits angrily denounced the War on Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr Day.
Until the year 2000, South Carolina state employees could choose to reject MLK Day in favor of celebrating a confederate holiday. "I mean, this is not Madison, Wisconsin," said Bill O'Reilly said, "Where you expect those people to be communing with Satan up there in the Madison, Wisconsin, media."
Claims of a War Against Martin Luther King, Jr Day caught some advertisers by surprise. Pundits had endorsed Wal-Mart's decision to celebrate the holiday as a victory in the culture war battle for those who "want to retain the MLK Day tradition."
Others, however, agreed that the liberal media has ignored Dr. King's message. Said a spokesman for the Holiday Retailers Alliance, "His courage and eloquence taught us that, black or white, red or brown, all Americans should have equal access to 15% off on pillow-top mattresses, with free delivery and disposal of your old mattress."
In related news, Seismologists reported a minor earthquake centered on the grave of the Nobel Peace-Prize winner "This happens every year," said a spokesperson from TheKingCenter.org. "The way people forget that his message was equality and non-violence, he's just spinning in his grave."
