The FBI, in conjunction with Interpol, today arrested the Tooth Fairy in Baltimore, Maryland on charges of breaking and entering and illegally trafficking in body parts.
He is also charged with contributing to the delinquency of minors, allegedly paying cash to children ages 2-8 to obtain a certain no longer needed body part.
A search warrant was issued for the Tooth Fairy's castle, where authorities found billions of small white teeth stacked from floor to ceiling in the basement of the residence. The Centers For Disease Control (CDC) were called to examined the teeth and no hazardous or infectious diseases were found. Documents were found at the scene that revealed a long history of breaking and entering and illegal trafficking in body parts, dating back hundreds, perhaps thousands, of years. No kiddie porn was found on the Tooth Fairy's computer though authorities discovered an autobiography entitled, "Tooth; I May be A Fairy But I'm Not Gay".
The Tooth Fairy was arrested, booked, arraigned, pleaded Not Guilty, and was released on $125,000 bail. A hearing has been scheduled for next month where the Tooth Fairy is expected to undergo a court ordered psychiatric evaluation.
Millions of young toothless children throughout the world woke up today broken-hearted to find their tooth still under their pillow and no money. Not to worry, if convicted, the Tooth Fairy is expected to be immediately pardoned by the President.
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence
