CUSTER, South Dakota – (Satire News) - A group of historical archaeologists have just discovered the infamous canoe that once belonged to Sitting Bull, chief of the fierce Hunkpapa Sioux tribe.
For over 80 years, historical groups have searched for the notorious canoe that Chief Sitting Bull used to take his young squaw bride, Woman-That-Crushes-Maize-With-Her-Hooha, on a 37-mile river excursion, back in September of 1864.
The canoe was found beside Water Moccasin Creek, located seven miles south of the town of Custer.
The group has verified that the canoe is, in fact, the famous “Wedding Canoe” through DNA that was found on a feather that belonged to Sitting Bull’s wedding headdress.
The historical group’s director, Tammy P. Fresno, 32, explained that the canoe had the initials (SB) carved into the left front side of the wood bark.
Her team also found scribblings on the floor of the canoe that read “Custer Sucks”.
The canoe was loaded onto a flat bed U-Haul truck, and it will be transported to the Wigwam, War Whoops, & Wampum Indian Museum in Indianola, Iowa.