Andrew Yang melts down at SXSW Q&A as young man asks if he can collect UBI in reefer

Funny story written by Jas Guipe

Saturday, 16 March 2019

image for Andrew Yang melts down at SXSW Q&A as young man asks if he can collect UBI in reefer

It seems people still have a lot of questions about Democratic Presidential candidate Andrew Yang’s Universal Basic Income proposal. Under the plan, the federal government would give $1000 a month free and clear to every American over 18 regardless of income.

At least one young Austin resident attending the SXSW Festival was a little fuzzy on the details of the plan: “I have a question, Mr. once and future President Yang. Like, in my current situation I’m usually able to trade reefer for stuff like food or cash, but I can’t always trade cash for reefer. Under your UBI plan, how would you address the hardships someone like me faces?”

“I don’t understand. Are you asking me if you can collect your UBI in reefer payments?”

“Yeah, check it, bro,” the young man continued. “If I were to collect $1000 dollars worth of cannabis every month from the government free and clear, the earning potential I could unleash from that package of weed would be nearly limitless.”

“You’re just going to end up smoking it all yourself, aren’t you?”

“Probably. I mean c’mon, bro, unlock my human potential. What’s that old saying? Give a man a thousand dollars and he’ll eat for a month. Give a man a pound of weed and he’ll eat for a lifetime.”

“I don’t think that’s how that expression goes.” said Yang growing visibly irritated. “Jesus, I offer you $1000 a month for doing nothing, but that’s not good enough. ‘No, I want to get paid in weed.’ It’s no wonder the robots are coming to replace you. It’s not a tall order. Reefer vending machines are already widely in use. A self-driving, reefer-dispensing vehicle is coming to a corner near you. Someday reefer drones are going to rain doobies down from the sky, so your time is up, BRO!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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