Washington DC - (Rottweilers): Soothsayers from both the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'N' Bones (Osteoporosis Division) and the Hellfire Club are warning today that accident prone President Gerald Ford may be carrying the Curse of the Only Appointed President with him to the grave as mourners gather in Capitol Hill to pay their last remains to the 38th President whose funeral takes place on Tuesday.
During his lifetime he stumbled from one public disaster to another as worried officials bent over backwards to protect his wife Betty from being outed as America's number one Olympic-standard boozer of the decade.
The more she staggered around the White House in a haze of bourbon and blackmarket uppers and downers spreading denial and incontinence to all and sundry, the more her husband's domestic and foreign policies resembled the classic shambles of the archetypal enabler whose own psychosis was all too easily mistaken for standard Presidential posturing.
The January stars appear to be kind at the moment and Fate could well sidestep the chance to take a potshot at the hordes of sanctimonious Republican admirers who will gather at the Rotunda on Tuesday to say Farewell and Thanks for the Gagging Clauses.
But all it might take is for the Florida-holidaying Blairs to suddenly take advantage of the DC photo-op occasion to do a little public smarming for a sudden and dramatic return to the Curse of the Stumblebum to return as a finalo souvenir on his last journey to hystery.
