Friday, 21 March 2014

image for Justice Department Indicts Mortgage Czar
The Hammer Finally Falls

In the wake of the 2008 financial crisis stemming from massive mortgage security fraud, the Justice Department, under increasing pressure to hold someone (anyone) accountable, has named Patrick "Patsy" Connelly as a principle target for prosecution.

Connelly, 36, was a mortgage broker for three months at CountyWide Realty in 2007. The Justice Department maintains that he is largely responsible for precipitating the crisis and the ensuing fallout that occurred in financial markets all over the world. Attorney General Eric Holder is determined to go after him with the full force of the law.

Potential fines and prison terms could amount to ten billion dollars and ninety-nine years in federal prison.

"Patsy" Connelly, divorced father of six, is currently unemployed and is expected to be represented in federal court by a public defender.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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