Written by Ducksley

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

The Detroit Visitors' Bureau announced yesterday they have hired a five-person crew to erase murder victim chalk outlines around the city.

"We had nearly 350 murders last year and everywhere you went, there were chalk outlines. The cops don't bother to erase them when they're done, and nobody wants to hold a convention or vacation in a city that's covered in chalk outlines. It's bad for business," explained Visitors' Bureau director M. Night Boogaard.

According to the Chalk Manufacturers of America, 70-percent of all chalk made in the U.S. last year was delivered to Detroit to be used for police chalk outlines. "The rest of it was used by little kids for drawing pictures of stick people, flowers and horses," said CMA spokesman Pearley Yatzman.

Boogaard said the crew will respond to clean up the chalk outlines after police have completed their investigation. "We ordered a about 10-thousand rags and five pallets of Simple Green," he said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Detroit

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