London Riots: Police Arrests On 'Cyclists With No Lights' Down

Funny story written by Moys Kenwood

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

image for London Riots: Police Arrests On 'Cyclists With No Lights' Down
Police move in to arrest a tramp sleeping on a park bench

The London Riots which have been raging in the capital and now other cities for the last three nights have already had a marked effect on the number of arrests made by the police in other areas of crime, it has been reported.

The riots, which have also now spread to Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester and Bristol, have resulted in the deployment of an extra 1,700 officers in London alone, meaning the manpower to attack forms of crime such as riding bicycles on the pavement, and without appropriate and safe lighting, is no longer available.

The police, who have a reputation for being somewhat 'heavy-handed' with softer forms of crime, have had their resources pushed to the limit by this unexpected outbreak of public anger, and are struggling to keep Britain's roads safe by ensuring that every cyclist uses lights on his bike.

A policeman who wished to remain nameless, but who you can call 'Bobby', said:

"Wot wiv aw this bovva, we ain't got enuf blokes to nick de pedd'wpushas, guv."

Other criminals have also felt the benefit of a reduced police presence on the streets.

Vagrants sleeping on park benches, drunks pissing in shop doorways, and unlicensed street traders selling balloons have all commented on their new-found freedom since the riots began.

One tramp we interviewed in some bushes in a London park said:


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more