Legendary vessel the Good Ship Lollipop has run aground on the coast of Wales and lost its cargo of precious candy that was due to be given to poorly children in Carlisle.
Over a hundred tones of holiday candy rocks meant for children with diabetes were washed ashore but destroyed by the salty sea water.
Fish in the area are said to have expanded to over 5-times their normal size.
One local fisherman said he was catching "fish as big as dachshunds" at an alarming rate in his bulging nets.
The ships Captain committed suicide and went down with his craft rather than face the scorn and embarrassment of returning to dry land without the precious lollipops.
The sickly children awaiting the goods have now been moved to a local café, where townspeople are taking turns feeding them sugar lumps from the sugar bowls.