Scandal upon scandal rocks the NHS at its MRSA foundations!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 28 June 2009

image for Scandal upon scandal rocks the NHS at its MRSA foundations!
Tony and George congratulating each other after signing the MRSA DEATHBUG unilateral agreement!

The very cheapskate NHS has been rocked once more by an even bigger scandal than their recently reported cheap foreigner employment policies!

What could be worse? MRSA, the killer bug, which takes care of more OAP's than Hitler ever did at Auschwitz!

News has leaked (at a very leaky NHS!) out from CEO boardrooms that the killer MRSA bug is not quite what OAP punters forced into NHS hospitals think it is, an unavoidable KILLER!

A recent infiltration exercise by the intrepid CIA (cockroach infiltration army) has found evidence that the MRSA bug was purposely released in hospitals to drastically cut costs, waiting lists, save beds and increase CEO bonuses!

OAP's, especially the female species, delivered into hospital with a simple broken leg, arm, toe or finger have been increasingly exiting the backdoors in coffins. Good business for the hospitals, funeral parlours and great news for the LABOUR GOVERNMENT!

The very brave CIA reporter, "King-Roach Pussywound" also infected by the MRSA bug after licking the blood of a MRSA infested dying OAP, (luvely, jubbely!) sent this very disturbing and shocking report over to CIA headquarters:

Dr.Death (better known as that rat, NHS, CEO, Boris Genocidski) divulged at a board meeting with his lesser DR.Deaths the superb figures for 2008/09.

"After the introduction of MRSA we are pleased to announce that especially OAP's are "popping off" with rapid haste! Everbody is profiting, Funeral Directors, the Labour Government, CEO's and also, NHS costs have been slashed by 35%."

"This means we can all pay ourselves even larger bonuses and kid the world that we and the Labour Party are all doing a fucking grand job!"

CIA reporter "King-Roach Pussywound" just managed to relay this horrendous report before being trod on by a certain CEO with his handmade designer 400,00 pound shoes, spreading puss all over the pristine polished oak floor and finally being put out of his misery.

The unnamed CEO cynically laughed and quoted:

"Well this mother fucker certainly reminds me of our OAP customers and their relatives downstairs, who don't have a fucking idea about our murderous, deadly MRSA policies."

Thank God "King-Roach Pussywound" had the brains to leave his hidden microphone on: Jaggedone and his CIA reporters have sworn to "get the Mother fuckers!!!"

For further developments keep tuned to Aljazeera International, they at least sometimes attempt to reveal the TRUTH!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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