Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

image for Prince Jefri Archer behind Brink's-Mat bullion heist
Prince Jefri Archer outside the High Court today

London - (Michail Gorbachev Mess): Top Brunei mobster Prince Jefri Archer has been branded an ex-KGB/Mossad double agent whose hand-picked gang robbed Brink's-Mat of twenty tonnes of gold bullion in 1983.

The new evidence emerged after police uncovered the missing two tonnes of gold coins and ingots on a raid on Lord Levy's London safety deposit vaults last week.

Also named are his accomplices the Maxwell brothers, Cherie Blair and the Yorkshire Ripper.

Jefri, 69, is back in the dock today accused of stealing iconic London properties, jewelllery, artworks and more than £5 billion in ready cash.

His claims to the ownership of one of the UK's most spectacular residences were laughed out of court last December.

Five senior Law Lords found that he'd merely claimed squatter's rights after learning the Puppet Monarch is herself an impostor who swans around Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle and other royal residences "like she owns the place."

"Basically, it's a highly sophisticated sting," the head of the UK's Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency said today.

"Jefri claims to have bought a spectacular London house near the US ambassador's official residence after it was sold in a divorce hearing," the source continued.

"But there never was any divorce between the married couple whose home it has been for nearly two decades and who have had countless assassination attempts by George W Bush ever since testifying that the Vatican hired him to kill John F Kennedy in 1963."

Madonna is shitting bricks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: prince jefri

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