Accent Crews Have 'Busiest Night Ever'

Funny story written by matwil

Friday, 30 May 2008

image for Accent Crews Have 'Busiest Night Ever'
'That do be flooded, Oi thinks'

Accent and Emergency crews today had their 'busiest night ever' in Somerset, as homes in the worst-hit areas of the southern part of the county had to be evacuated.

Four people also had to be rescued from a car near Shepton, due to a whole evening of drunken oo-arring and that'll-be-roit-ing, and one old lady needed roadside assistance, as she starting yelling 'Oi be a coider drink'r!' at passing vehicles.

A Somerset County Council official had this to say about the emergency: 'It wasn't as bad as what happened in Glaaaster, but maybe wors'n'at near Barth.'

Another spokesman, Councillor John Yorkel, also added :'That be roit, Oi do be tellin' thee, Oi do!', and so clearly the area was still needing assistance.

This is not the first time seriously bad accents have broken out in the West Country, indeed for many years local star and poetess Pam Ayres inflicted her ghastly tones on huge parts of Britain, not just the west, before the UN mercifully stepped in and took her off the air. And Benny Hill caused serious unrest around England with his unfunny accent and salute.

Hopefully the crisis is over, and the local rural accents will only be occasionally be heard on Casualty, and late night weather forecasts.

Stanley Unwin is 93 tomorrow.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot