'Marriage to Winehouse Made Me Bonkers' as Flake Fielder-Civil changes plea to insanity

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 17 November 2007

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Fielder-Civil will plead insanity at the Old Baliey next month

London - (Hideous Mess): Flake Fielder-Civil, aka Mr Amy Winehouse, has asked to change his Not Guilty GBH and obstruction conspiracy pleas to insanity after agreeing to a quickie divorce from his junkie wife and a £5 million pay-off.

"Marriage to Amy made me bonkers," an affidavit issued on Flake's behalf says today.

"She was always skagged out that sleeping with her made me toxic by osmosis.

"Each time we shagged some of the crack in her bodily fluids penetrated my defences and sent me reeling.

"One weekend alone we must have f##ed at least fifty times. That's when my forntal cerebral cortex got mashed.

"It's like she sucked out the very life-blood outta me, along with about a gallon of semen.

"And that's what weakened me, robbed me of my reason and sent me on the slippery downward path to insanity oblivion.

"Of course, some of them acid tabs maybe didn't help either.

"But she's to blame for the state I'm now in."

There has been no response yet from Winehouse today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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