Portugal - (Ass Mess): The parents of a four year old girl kidnapped on holiday in Portugal are set to visit the Vatican to check if it is shielding any child molestors in the Praia da Luz resort where their daughter was taken.
It is now over three weeks since the child disappeared as her two year old twin siblings slept next to her and their wealthy doctor parents dined out in a tapas bar down the road from their holiday apartment.
Portuguese police have said they are unable to give statistics about similar incidents in this part of the country because the majority of church-related child abduction and sex crime cases were gagged by the Vatican when Portugal became a member of the EU.
"Perpetrators who confessed their sins to a priest would have been given absolution," a spokesman said today.
"Any priests among those who confessed would have been moved by their bishops to different dioceses so as not to be tempted again.
"Any bishops among those who confessed would have been moved to the Vatican where the Swiss Guard keep an eye on these waywards princes of the church according to pontifical dictat laid down by Hitler's Pope Pius XII."
Tne catholic church has been reported in World Health Organization data as having admitted to over 50,000 child-related crime incident cover-ups in the EU during the last 40 years that have been shielded through its global policy of Omerta.
Meanwhile the UK press has reported that the child's traumatised parrents have gone 'straight to the top' and had lengthy telephone discussions with UK's Prime Monster-in waiting Gordon Brown.
"This must be the first time any parent in a similar appalling situation has been able to get that kind of rolls royce personal service in their quest to find a child."