Chelsea FC curse blamed in tragic VIP chopper mystery

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

image for Chelsea FC curse blamed in tragic VIP chopper mystery
The Twin Squirrel chopper wreckage has been found in woodland

Cambridgeshire - (Ass Mess): The ancient curse of Chelsea Football Club has claimed yet another mysterious helicopter tragedy following the club's devastating 1-0 thrashing by Liverpool FC in the semi-finals of the Champions League.

A Chelsea honorary vice-president, Phillip Carter, and three other passengers were listed missing in the early hours of Wednesday morning as their Twin Squirrel chopper wreckage was found in Cambridgeshire woodland.

Phillip Carter, pilot Stephen Holdich and two others were returning from Anfield around midnight.

Radar contact was reportedly lost around 1am and the wreckage only found around some eight hour later.

And in an eerie twist harking back to the 1996 chopper death of Chelsea Vice-Chairman Matthew Harding and four companions after Chelsea game at Bolton, police are not holding out much hope for finding any survivors in today's incident.

Harding's died after his helicopter 'plunged into farmland and burst into flames'.

Carter is the founder of vocational training firm Carter & Carter, which employs over 500 people in Nottingham.

His pal on board the hapless flight Jonathan Waller, is said to be a debt collector from Market Deeping, Lincolnshire.

A police statement has not ruled out foul play but until the search for any survivors is concluded reports remain terse.

Chelsea FC is owned by Russian oil gangster Roman Abramovich whose involvement in expatriate mobster cartel feuds was probed last year by UK police investigating the Plutonium 210 poisoning of ex-KGB turncoat spook Alexander Litvinenko.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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