Car boot sale diamond worth 300K found in filthy ashtray!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 22 May 2017


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Always check your filthy ashtrays before scrapping the car!

Car boot sales can sometimes surprise people and in this particular instance, it certainly did!

A piece of costume jewellery purchased at a car boot sale 30 years ago for a tenner has been found wrapped in sticky chewing gum paper in a filthy ashtray in an ancient, rusty ancient Austin Seven (Yes the UK did once have a car industry owned by Brits!) about to be crunched in a scrap yard!

The owner of the "gem" wore the piece on her dresses, blouses, and never thought it was worth a penny. It became rather scratched and faded over the years so her hubby, whilst passing over some gum, told her to dump the thing because it was so ugly and way below their standards whilst driving through the town in their crumbling Austin Seven. Keeping up appearances is important in England even in a rust heap!

Eventually they took the car to the local scrap dealers, said a prayer and purchased a foreign car because there are no more English cars available in their price class. They forgot about the gem dumped in the filthy ashtray and through a stroke of pure luck, a Bulgarian scrap worker opened up the ashtray hoping to find a dog end or two and, bob's your uncle, a priceless gem stuck to his hands!

The rest is history and now Sotheby's are flogging the thing for 300K and the owners are now purchasing a brand new BMW although they voted for Brexit! They also gave the Bulgarian a 10 pound reward and told him to "fuck off back where he came from!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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