The Spoof can reveal that kiddies favourite Bob the Builder is nothing more than a cowboy and chancer.
As part of our consumer watchdog feature we 'set up' a house in Reading Berks and invited a succession of 'media tradesmen' in to sort out problems that we'd rigged up.
Among the firms we investigated was "Bob's Construction" of Bobsville, a firm that local Trading Standards had a string of complaints about.
Our plumbing expert set up a simple ball cock fault that should have only cost us a nominal charge and taken five minutes to fix.
Our doorbell was rung by somebody in a yellow hat and dungarees calling himself Bob. We showed him the fault and asked. "Can you fix it?" Almost immediately came the reply "Yes I can" So with no more ado we hired him and sat back to watch his performance on our hidden cameras.
But no sooner had we left the room when Bob had a sly look around before rifling through our knicker drawer and then pissing in it too. We can't say what he did next!
He then proceeded to find the faulty ball cock but snapped it in two instead of adjusting it before calling our house owner and telling her he had to go and get a new one as "the old one was shagged love" and that it was going to cost her £5600 instead of £54.
When he finally came back he found our reporter dressed up as a doddery old git and tried to do him up like a kipper. Of course we revealed our identity and Bob beat it without fixing the fault or indeed getting a penny from The Spoof.
We've passed our file onto the Bobsville Police and we hope that it's only a matter of time before Bob's fixing the prison governor's leaky tap and not ripping off decent honest law-abiding people.
