National Identity Card Scheme Scrapped in favour of Nectar Rewards Card

Funny story written by Duff

Sunday, 26 November 2006

image for National Identity Card Scheme Scrapped in favour of Nectar Rewards Card
What's in your wallet?

It's widely believed in Westminster tonight that the Government intend to announce the shelving of plans to introduce its controversial National identity card scheme.

The Home Secretary will make the shock announcement in a key-note speech in London tomorrow. It is thought that the reasoning behind this u-turn is the spiralling costs that would be incurred to implement the scheme.

However The Spoof can reveal that just in case you thought the plan was going to be scrapped completely...think again. There is in fact a plan B being hatched.

A Whitehall insider has told us that it will involve changing the emphasis from a national ID card to an enhanced Nectar card scheme.

It's believed that there are already 14 million Nectar card holders in the UK and top civil servants think that this is more than enough to get the 'ball rolling'.

In future every time Nectar card holders use their card, the Government computer will latch onto their details and start tracking their every movement in a sinister way, yet in a way, we are assured, that is beneficial to the safety of country and the well-being of its inhabitants.

Tony Blair has said that eventually bonus points could be awarded for 'model citizens' who behaved themselves and promised not to get involved in anything contrary to Government plans and policy.

He went on to say that the scheme could be a real boon to people who could either redeem their points at Christmas for cash or else use them to get discount on their big Christmas shop.

Conservative leader, David Cameron, is reported to be furious as he doesn't have a Nectar card and won't be able to reap the benefits.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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