Keith Harris Arrested In Murder Of Orville The Duck

Funny story written by HaveIGotNewsForYou

Friday, 6 December 2013

image for Keith Harris Arrested In Murder Of Orville The Duck
"I Hate That Duck"

Ventriloquist Keith Harris has been arrested by police in Blackpool for the kidnapping and murder of his former partner and long term friend Orville.

Officers from the resort swooped on Harris as he left his council house home in the Layton area of the seaside town.

A police spokesman stated that police were called to Harris's home early this morning after reports from neighbours who claimed to have heard screaming and arguing coming from the property, which Harris shares with his long time lover Cuddles, a cheeky monkey.

After a search of the premises police made a gruesome discovery in the trunk of Harris's beat up 1978 Ford Escort - the dismembered body of the once cute and talented duck.

One neighbour told reporters that the area was covered in green feathers and papier mâché early this morning as officers began cleaning up the disturbing scene.

Orville, who famously went solo and split up the famous double act in 2001, had been missing for several months. He had last been scene shopping for bread in an Asda supermarket in Kettering.

Harris, 77, was reportedly taken into police custody immediately and is now awaiting charges.

It is believed that Harris lured Orville back to his home and had been keeping his former partner as a prisoner in a suitcase.

Police confirmed that alongside the dismembered corpse of Orville they found blindfolds, whips, chains, handcuffs and gags - those ones with the red balls on them - in the trunk of Harris's vehicle.

In light of the tragedy, the 1981 hit "Orville's Song" performed by Harris and Orville became the most downloaded song on itunes yesterday, and is reportedly set to be this years Christmas number 1.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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