That Bush Interview in Full

Funny story written by Rodd Justice

Sunday, 16 November 2003

image for That Bush Interview in Full
I love Europe....#It's the final countdowwwwnnn!#

One week before his long-awaited visit to the UK, President Bush faced a challenging interview by children's toy, Mr Frosty. Here are the key points from the historic interview…

Frosty: How do you feel about visiting Buckingham Palace?
Bush: I'm looking forward to it. It's a huge honour to be invited by King Ralph to stay in Buckingham Castle. It's hard to imagine me even considering staying in the Castle when I was living in Midland, Texas - they say it is so luxurious it even has a KFC inside!

Frosty: What is your response to the threat of protests upon your arrival in Britain?
Bush: I would say that I understand you don't like war, and neither do I. Sure, I might like playing with my G.I. Joe, but I learned some months ago that war was not as fun as my action figure collection.

Being president is not all G.I. Joe, you know. I have obligation as the president to keep our country in arms deals and cheap oil for months and weeks in the future.

Frosty: How's that war on terror going?
Bush: There are terrorists who are willing to kill innocent life in order to create fear and chaos.

There are terrorists who want the free world to retreat from duties so that they can impose Taliban-type governments and enslave people.

There are people like Saddam Hussein, who tortured and maimed and killed, and at the same time threatened and created conditions of instability.

And then there are people like Steve Penk…

Frosty: What is your relationship with Mr Blair like?
Bush: Great! I think he tells the truth when he says that he isn't letting me win at Mario Kart…although I'm not sure if I believe him.

Frosty: Your relationship with Europe isn't quite as good though.
Bush: Europe? Of course it is! I was a big fan of them in the 80s. What's that song they did? It's the final countdown dun dun duuuun dunnn….d'you like that, Frosty?

Frosty: No, I'm a children's toy. I don't like music. But, moving on, why hasn't a single weapon of mass destruction been found in Iraq?
Bush: Yes there has.
Frosty: Err, no there hasn't.
Bush: Durrr no there hasn't.
Frosty: Stop mocking me.
Bush: Durr stop mocking me.
Frosty: This interview's over.
Bush: Durr schminterview interview.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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