Fanplebbingtastic! The latest in the Andrew Mitchell saga

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Monday, 24 September 2012

Andrew Mitchell has "categorically denied" that he used foul and abusive language towards police officers who were guarding him.

He said:

"I did not use the comments that were attributed to me I didn't even talk to the officers in question. I can't have spoke to them because I don't speak to people below a certain social class. So I couldn't have said those things because I can't see them, lower classes are invisible to me."

When pushed on what he actually said and if he was implying the police officer was lying he responded with:

"They police officer must have mis-heard me. I categorically deny that I said any of those things to the plebs."

He was then asked if his previous statement on social classes was something he actually believed in. Mr Mitchell started shaking his head and laughing.

"No I never said I wouldn't talk to people of a lower social class. I categorically deny saying that."

After it was pointed out to him that he had in fact said the aforementioned statement and it had been recorded, he fixed us with a stern glare and said:

"I categorically deny giving any interview and any one saying any different is a pleb!!

He then rode off on his bike while giving the finger to some paramedics and yelling "you don't run this fucking country!"

No Mr Mitchell they don't but it's such a shame that you and your fellow "Hooray Henry's" do.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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