Written by queen mudder

Monday, 12 December 2011

image for Lebedev evening paper confuses Cameron EU veto story with cops' shooting of Mark Duggan
F***ing Nora! This news is hot, hot, hot!

London - The former bastion of journalistic standards has run a story linking comments by the Lord Mayor of London David Wootton to a 'shoot-out' between the North London cops and Mark Duggan.

The story EU will 'rein in London banks' by Evening Standard reporters Joe Murphy and Gideon Spanier claimed that David Wootton confirmed there was a danger of the City losing influence to rivals such as Frankfurt and Paris.... In a heated series of exchanges, Mr Sparrow said it had been a 'mistake' to have initially suggested Mr Duggan had been killed in a 'shoot-out'.

Quite what the intrepid reporters' sources are we may never find out but a comment on the paper's messageboards this afternoon asked if former KGB spook and sometime Soviet hitman Alexander Lebedev was 'taking the mickey' with today's lead story.

But quoting the UK Independence Party leader Nigel Farage the article continued to say 'The City of London faces retribution as a result of Cameron's veto and every step must be taken to protect it from these attacks.'

Claims that local gangsta Mark Duggan may have been a Sarkozy-Merkel stooge planted to spread chaos in a post-EU meltdown are, of course, total bollox.

Nick Clegg is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
42 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more