Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

image for "The Special One" begs Sir Alex, "can I be your assistant even without pay!"
The Special One is alone once again, but not for long, he will become United!

José Mourinho has cocked it up at Real Madrid and even their ex- Presidenti, Ramon Calderon, has diplomatically told him to leave, José promptly told him to f++k off, after all he is the "Special One!"

After last nights boot out of the "Chumpions League" by FC Messi & Co and the statement that José gave the press everybody at Real feels he's done too much damage and must go.

José doesn't give a crap and in a secret telephone call with Sir Alex he asked him if he could come back to his chosen footie "homeland", join Sir Alex on the bench until he retires or dies (that maybe be neccessary to remove him) even without payment.

Sir Alex is very fond of the "Special One" and immediately offered him a job as his assistant because when he gets banned to the terraces there's only "dead pan" Mike Phelan to take over and United need a kick up the butt even when Sir Alex is not there.

The question is who takes over when both are banned to the terraces; maybe the United Tea Lady?

José is the perfect inheritor to Sir Alex's throne, but he must learn several things:

Never let the BBC find out that his family does dirty deals behind their backs?

Learn how to throw hairdryers accurately at his superstars without them whinging to the press?

And how to tell British referees they're a bunch of blind twats without the FA knowing actually what he meant? (Maybe he can say it in Portuguese?)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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